Life is always about learning. I feel that the moment one stops learning, one stops living. I have been trying to capture what I learned so far in my life. Obviously there is no end to it and I am still learning. Here are a few.

I have learned that

1. life's most beautiful gifts are most often the smallest.
2. you cannot make some one love you, all you can do is make yourself some one who can be loved
3. no matter how much you care for a person, the person need not reciprocate. But you still have to go on caring because that is what you truly want to do.
   
4. it takes a long time to build trust and love, but it takes only a few seconds to decimate them.
5. if you stop to count the good deeds you have done, you would have nothing remaining to count.
6. it is best to let your loved ones know that you love and care, because you never know whether or when you would get a chance to tell them so.
7. there is nothing you need to fear but the doubts about your own capability
8. there is nothing that is not worthy of you. Every task you do is worth doing because He deemed so.
9. there is no point in life you are alone. You are just too engrossed in yourself to look around.
10. you need to be brave, not for the sake of being brave, but because you believe in whatever you are up to and need to stand up for it.
11. no matter how convincing an argument sounds, there is always another side that you need to hear
12. no matter how good a friend is, there will always be instances you will get hurt by him or her. But you got to accept that because you accepted the friend as a whole not just the good side of him or her.
    
13. it is so easy to forgive others and perhaps, easy to be forgiven by others, but so hard to forgive yourself
14. there is no end to understanding a person. The moment you stop understanding, the relation stops being progressive.
    
15. simplicity is mistaken as outward simplicity which is easier to achieve and perceive. Th simplicity of the mind is what is more beautiful and harder to perceive
16. you don't go about looking for a "perfect" time to do something that is right, the time is perfect whenever you do whatever you wanted to do.
    
17. you can dwell on the past and understand the meaning, but you have live life forwards not backwards
18. some times there seems to be no point in going through painful moments, but we are definitely not the ones to judge the usefulness of pain.
19. you are always capable of giving, it is simply a choice you have to make.
20. you are the only one responsible for what you have become.
21. you can either continue to wane in your grief or shrug it all and rise to a new day. The world is not going to stop for you to get over your grief.
22. there is no "right" way to look at things. You can only look the way that feels right to you.
23. hardest thing to achieve is being honest with yourself and being kind to yourself. Both will carry you longer than you can possibly imagine.
24. there is always place in your heart to love someone. You need not pack people in.
25. love sets you free and does not bind you in chains. Possessiveness is not a part of love.
26. all things you see affect you. You only don't realize it because you have a squelcher at work.
    
27. people have the toughest time understanding the most simple thing because they can't believe that things are as simple as they are.
28. that learning always continues.....................
    

It was when I realized that the urge to escape from trifling and mundane tasks of the every day routine world can no longer be squelched, that I decided to go to Malaysia. What can be more ideal than an Island to yield to a craving of this kind? I did not stay in KL but escaped into the pleasant laziness of the Tioman Island.

I have always felt that huge water bodies or towering hills can influence our thought process by their sheer beauty and their huge dimensions. Tioman had the combination of the two. Bordered by the hills on one side and sea on the other side, I felt that the village of Juara had an intangible knack of lifting us several planes above the frivolousness of the world. I felt as big as the hills and as broad as the sea. I felt I could forgive anyone and in short, felt like God.




I was staying in a beach resort and it was really fun to be waking up to the blue waters every morning. I am hooked to my Ipod when I am outside or to my head phones in office most part of my day. But I used my IPod but for 5 minutes in Tioman. The rumbles of the waves and the gentle breeze provided all the music I ever wanted in those 3 and half days. I never imagined life could be as beautiful without the things that I imagined to be bare necessities - cellular phone, the laptop and the access to internet. It is not anything new that I say here, but it is a reminder that life is more than struggling to fit ourselves into the dimensions of successful people as defined by the world.

• There is no failure. Only feedback.

• If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.

• If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to win.

• Too many people miss the silver lining because they're expecting gold.

• Every tide has its own ebb.

• It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.

• What we see depends mainly on what we look for.

• There is no future in any job; The future lies in the man who holds the job.

• Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.

• If winter comes, can spring be far behind?

• Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.

• We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it.

• A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.

• Everyone must row with the oars he has.

• He is strong who conquers others. he who conquers himself is mighty.

• The weak can never forgive. Forgiving is an act of the strong.

• People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

• If there is ever a time to be ambitious, its not when your ambition is easy, but when it is hard. Fight in darkness. Fight when you are down. Die hard and you wont die at all.Argument

• If you really want the last word in an argument, try saying "I guess, you are right".

• Anger is a powerful missile, don't use it to blow balloons.

• The height that great men achieved and kept, were not attained by sudden flight. But, while their companions slept were toiling upward in the night.

• Compromise is an art of dividing the cake in such a way that everyone believes that he has got the biggest piece.

• Imitation is the confession of limitation.

• He who asks a question is a fool for a minute. But he who never questions, remains a fool forever.

• When things happen that you dont like, you have two choices - you get bitter or you get better

• The essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.

• Winners are never quitters. Quitters are never winners.

• We fall to rise, are baffled to fight better, sleep to wake.

• The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.

• To know that we know what we know and that we dont know what we dont know, that is true knowledge.

• The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

• Its better to wear out than rust out.

• Its easy enough to be pleasant when life flows along like a song;
  But the man worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong.

• It is no use crying over spilt milk. It only makes it salty for the cat.

• There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

• Better never trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you
  For you only make your trouble double-trouble when you do.

• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

• Glory is not in never falling but rising every time you fall.

• You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

• Attitude is a little thing, that makes a lot of difference.

• Burden becomes light when they are cheerfully borne.

• Dream and dedication makes a powerful combination.

• If you are tender enough to feel ashamed, thank God and ask him to keep you that way.

• Those who fret over small issues only demonstrate their inability to find anything big in their lives.

• The reason many people fail to recognize opportunity is because it comes disguised as hard work.

• A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.

• Good attitude does not come from good position or wealth. The fact is that, people get to good position because of their positive attitudes.

• If you believe in God, He will do half the work, but only the last half. He helps those who helps themselves.

• Never forget that only dead fish swims with the stream.

• The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, the realist adjusts the sails.

• Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

• Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.

• Footprints on the sands of time are not made by sitting down.

• Its always morning somewhere in the world.

• The fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them.

• Everything is okay in the end, if its not okay, its not the end.

• Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

• War doesn't determine who is right.
  War determines who is left.

• The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge.

"Let go? Are you sure you want to do that?".

"Well people give up and realize later that they were very close to success when they gave up".

People say this so often. Being persistent and relentless are considered great qualities by many. But is that really true? I have been wondering about that of late. At times, it is very difficult to hold on than letting go of it and many times it would probably be wiser to let go than hanging on. Sometimes, accepting things as they are, takes more character and courage than being relentless.

I am reminded of the prayer we used to say the first thing in Value Education class back in school days

"God, give me the strength to accept things that I can't change, courage to change things I can and wisdom to understand the difference."

Having walked a long way down the road of life, I had conveniently lost touch with the prayer. I suddenly remembered of the prayer when I was talking to someone. I am fortunate that my brain is still capable of retrieving things like these from past!.

I now realize how practical the prayer is!!!

Thanks to the teacher who taught us the same!

There have been so many quotes about 'Mother Nature being the best teacher' and 'Nature teaches us what our mothers do not'. I believed that because I love Nature. But after seeing what I describe below, the belief has grown staunch.

I was once watching a program on one of these channels - Discovery, Animal Planet, Nat Geo. I don't remember exactly which one that was. Thanks to my brother and the camera woman, I happened to witness one of the Nature's miracles.

The program was about a lioness, taken deep in jungles of Africa. A pride of lions seems to have hunted a group of antelopes and managed to make a kill on a mother antelope. For whatever reason, a lioness in that pride seems to have taken heart on an antelope calf. She had adopted the calf and took great care of it. She never let the calf out of her eye sight for the fear of getting killed by the rest of the pride, the same way she would have behaved if it was her own cub. What's more she did not make a single kill the entire duration she was with the calf (which was about 13 days). Little by little the calf got rid of the fear of the lioness. But both the calf and lioness were growing weak - for the want of food. The lioness didn't hunt; the calf being too young was not able to feed on grass, and whining for the mother's feed. The calf was even shown to approach the lioness for milk. The efforts of the villagers and the channel staff by making the lioness eat by throwing meat, went down the drain. Both the animals survive on water for the entire duration. Finally, the calf passes away. The lioness reacts exactly the same to this, as she would have done for her own cub. The next day, she makes a meagre hunt for her survival. The episode ends with the note that the lioness goes on to adopt six other calfs during her life time.

If I had not seen the program myself and if someone had told this, I would not have believed. I mean, how can a prey and a predator live in harmony? And why should a predator wane and languish for a prey? Why would a lioness get estranged from her own pride for an antelope? Lions are social animals, to them, their pride is everything.

There are at least two ways to look at this.

* That the lioness should not have tried to do what it did, departing from its nature. By doing so, the calf had a prolonged suffering.
* That it is perfectly possible for two individuals in stark contrast to co-exist in perfect harmony as long as the hearts are brimming with love and care. What could be more contrasting than a prey and a predator.

I am bound to go with the second, because I trust that it is what Mother Nature is trying to tell us to the people of today's world - a world that is always in a frantic hurry, a world that is in a constant want of compassion. If a prey and predator can co-exist, why can't we humans co-exist with one another? Why can't we make this earth a more peaceful place to live in?

I am not really sure how many people are fortunate enough to have a teacher that they would remember for a life time. I am one of those fortunate ones. I don't just remember her, but owe what I am today, to that wonderful lady. She was my maths teacher and I wish I had been in touch with her. I do think of her often, but even more, after I read 'Tuesdays with Morrie'.

She had a very profound impact and a very positive one, on me and how I perceived the world. If I am optimistic at least 75% of the time, I owe it to her. If I see the world as a big happy place to live in, I owe it to her. If I see an opportunity in every challenge (i don't want say it a "problem"), she carved me so. The strangest part is, I didn't get any special attention from her, to have such an impact. She was the same with everyone in the class. The moments I spent with her alone were purely on mathematical grounds - about public exams, about math competitions and what-nots. She was elderly and commanded respect from every one, not because of her age, but because of her character.

I was young then and green. And I wanted to mimic her. I am a software engineer now, but I wanted to become a teacher - a maths teacher in the very school I went to. My mother wanted me to give a shot at the engineering entrance exams. I had been reluctant. I wanted to become a teacher - like my own. I was adamant and refused to even listen to any suggestions that so many people gave related to engineering entrance. Then one day, she called me alone and asked what I was planning to do after high school. I told her that I want to become a maths teacher and that I want to do Masters in maths at IIT (Indian Institute of Tech) But back in 1990's, everybody was appearing for engineering entrance. It was supposed to the gateway to big fortunes. She raised an eyebrow after hearing my answer. She simply said, "Why don't you appear for the entrance exams? Why can't you try doing something that would place you in a better position financially? If you really want to be a teacher, you can do so even after retiring from IT industry after you have stabilized yourself financially". I would have marched right off the spot had it been anyone else. But I cant do that to someone whom I admired and adored. And so I appeared, and so I became a software engineer.

In retrospect, I don't think I would have succeeded in my own eyes, as a teacher, because I wanted to mimic her and that is too lofty a goal. Sure enough, I could teach people, and make them understand stuff. But I honestly do not think that I would have succeeded in sowing provoking ideas in my students in the arenas that she inspired many. She probably knew this.

I had been out of school for 9 years now, and I am not quite sure whether there are such good teachers today. I am not sure whether there would be teachers who help in moulding a kid's thought and leave a positive impact.

It was one fine Sunday and as usual I didn't know what to do with myself. (I hadn't started accumulating books then. I was still on a look out of a good library). My mother had given some mundane tasks, which took no time. Then again I was faced with seeming colossal question. "What now?". (It surprises me that I no longer ask that question. Either I have become lazy or I am kept busy. The best part - I don't know which one)

There were times I usually mock my brother for seeing cartoon movies (inwardly I do enjoy the movie). But since I was all alone, I did have the opportunity to watch the VCD that my friend had lent - The lion king. I didn't pick that up with great expectation. It was to kill time. (Or so I thought).

It is a movie that I would never forget in my life time. Few sequences are edged into my memory. I watched it twice already the same day. I loved Simba's father, the king, Mufasa. He is so majestic, proud, and adores his son, dies for his son. Below are some of the conversations that I would always enjoy.

Little Simba is so very excited one morning and cant wait to see his kingdom. He jumps all around those, who are sleeping and tries to wake up his father. The Lioness stirs from sleep and says to mufasa "Your son is already awake", Mufasa replies "Till sunrise he is ur son". Meanwhile simba climbs up the huge body of Mufasa, trying to wake him up. Finally hits mufasa's chin, and cries "You promised". Then Mufasa couldnt resist, he gets up and shows from the top of the boulder the boundaries of his kingdom.

M: A king's reign rises and falls like the sun. One day simba, the sun will set on my time as a king and rise on you as a king.
Simba: Then this will all be mine..
M: Yes simba..
Simba: A king can do anything..
M: Much so, but not put a kingdom in danger.

(Then they go around the kingdom.M starts talking again)

M: Everything exists together in a delicate balace. As a king, you must understand this balance. You must respect the crawling ants to the leaping antelopes
S: But dad dont we eat antelopes
M: Yes we do, let me explain Simba. When we die, our bodies become the grass. And antelopes eat grass. So we are all well connected in the great circle of life.

He also teaches how to lie low and attack. He was absolutely proud when Simba playfully attacks M's right hand.

There was one another piece of conversation that I loved. A father to son talk... Happens when simba crosses kingdom (pride rock)'s boundary and endangers himself and Nala's life. M calls for Simba who is way behind. The scared Simba inches forward. He lays his feet in the same place his father's foot marks are. He was astonished by the difference in sizes of his and his father's paw. Finally reaches his father's side.

M: I am deeply disappointed in you Simba You disobeyed me. Whats worse, you put Nala's life in danger.
S: I know dad, but I was only trying to be brave like you.
M: I am brave only when I have to be. Being brave doesn't mean that you go looking for trouble.
S: But you are never scared.
M: I was today.
S: Eh? you were?
M: Yes, I was scared I would lose you.
(Simba brightens up, and lets go of his fear)
S: Even mighty kings are scared at times..huh?
M: Yes.
S: But you know what?
M(smiling): what?
S: Those hyenas were even scared today.
M: Thats because nobody messes up with your daddy.

He draws Simba into his massive hug, cuddles and tickles him. They drew a mock fight and catch each other. Finally Simba settles on his favourite spot. on top of his father's mane.

S: You are proud, arent you?
M: Yes Simba
S: We will always be together won't we?
M: Hopefully Simba, but let me tell you what my father told me. Look at those stars?
S: Yes dad
M: Great kings of the past look down on us from those stars. Whenever you feel lonely, look at them, they will guide you forever and so will I.

There is so much truth in all the conversations and profound things very simply told. I am sure that this is the movie I would enjoy watching with my nephew and when it is time, my own kids.